Welcome to Projected Figures

If you have come to Projected Figures expecting accountancy, you are in the right place. Accountancy is what film writers do: counting minutes, counting words, reducing all cinema’s abstract expressions to calibrations,  evaluations and calculated formulae on a simplified, and simplifying, worksheet. Critics, you see, operate a kind of reverse-alchemy, transforming vibrant sights and sounds into bland verbiage and, if you’re…

Million

One Million Years B.C. (1966)

One Million Years B.C. first published by Little White Lies, as the 24th instalment of my Cinema Psychotronicum column “This is a story of long, long ago, when the world was just beginning,” states a voiceover at the start of One Million Years B.C.. The initial darkness of the screen is invaded by a series of…

Harmonium

Harmonium (2016)

Harmonium first published by Little White Lies Koji Fukuda’s Harmonium (Fuchi ni tatsu) opens with sounds of the eponymous instrument being played out of tune. Recognising her own shortcomings, young Hotaru (Momone Shinakawa), who is practising for a concert, turns on a metronome to impose a semblance of order on all the false notes – in…

Antiviral

Antiviral (2012)

Anitiviral first published by Sight & Sound   Review: “She’s perfect somehow,” says Syd March (Caleb Landry Jones), selling a dream to his rapt customer – and like the best salesmen, Syd believes his own pitch, even if that modifier “somehow” allows for certain flaws. With his designer suit and scarf, his slicked back hair and…

Cat

Be My Cat: A Film For Anne (2015)

Be My Cat: A Film For Anne first published by Little White Lies, as the 23rd part of my Cinema Psychotronicum column “Hello, Anne. My name is Adrian, I am from Romania and I want to make a movie with you.” The protagonist of Be My Cat: A Film For Anne is played by his namesake…

Lisa

Lisa And The Devil (1971)

Lisa And The Devil first published by VODzilla.co “I find that invariably, Lisa, there’s a very simple explanation for almost everything. Don’t you agree?” The speaker is Leandro, played by Telly Savalas with a jovially eccentric manner and a mischievous twinkle in his eye. Leandro is a mysterious jack of all trades – a wrangler of…

woods

LFF Cult 2016 Round-Up: woods, morgues and madness

LFF Cult 2016 Round-Up: woods morgues and madness first published by Sight & Sound See also In the Cu(l)t: More from LFF 2016’s Cult Programme  Those seeking to be awed, alarmed and unnerved at the 60th London Film Festival should convert to the Cult strand. This year’s selection is disparate, although sylvan settings and psychological…

Driller

The Driller Killer (1979)

The Driller Killer first published by Little White Lies, as part 22 of my Cinema Psychotronicum column The name alone of Abel Ferrara’s The Driller Killer was enough to get it on the Video Nasties list, at a time when VHS copies of Samuel Fuller’s WWII drama The Big Red One were briefly being seized by…

Lowlife

Lowlife Love (2016)

Lowlife Love first published by Little White Lies, as part 20 of my Cinema Psychotronicum column Tetsuo (Kiyohiko Shibukawa) wakes up beside a would-be starlet, vainly attempts to have sex with her again, and then, after she leaves, proceeds to masturbate to the CV that she has left with him. In Lowlife Love (Gesu no ai, 2016),…

Wailing

The Wailing (2016)

The Wailing first published by Little White Lies Though called The Wailing in English, Na Hong-jin’s third feature (after 2008’s The Chaser and 2010’s The Yellow Sea) was released in its native South Korea under the title Goksung, which is also the name of the village where its mysteries unfold. Small-town values propel events here. Amidst…

Lederhosen

Attack of the Lederhosen Zombies (2016)

Attack of the Lederhosen Zombies first published by VODzilla.co There are some genre films whose title is also their best, even their only, asset. Think SyFy’s Sharktopus (2010) or The Asylum’s Sharknado (2013) – titles which immediately nail their films’ particular subgenre (shark film!), and which also take that subgenre for an unexpected spin (a…

LFO

LFO (2013)

LFO first published by VODzilla.co “Do you want to change the world?” So asks Robert (Patrik Karlson), giving expression to the grandiose scope of his own personal ambitions – but bear in mind that Robert is a bespectacled, middle-aged homebody, in his basement chatting online with like-minded geeks (each hiding behind geeky pseudonyms) about DIY research…