Top Ten Things People Say In Response To A Film List (inevitably I agree with no. 10)
1. Your list is completely wrong.
2. You should have included [Film X] that I like more than you do
3. You shouldn’t have included [Film X] that you like more than I do
4. You shouldn’t have included [Film X] because it does ‘not really’ meet the list’s criteria that I am now arbitrarily and narrowly redefining for you
5. You shouldn’t have included [Film X] because it [came/comes out] in another year from the year in which you actually saw it
6. You shouldn’t have written this list at all because you are too [ignorant/élitist/limited/specialist/conventional/subjective/unrepresentative/judgmental/elevated/deluded] in your personal tastes
7. Your list does not conform to the objectively true list that exists only in my head
8. You omitted all the films that I have seen and you have not
9. I prefer Empire’s list
10. Lists represent a reductive approach to cinema, privileging evaluation over all other aspects of criticism, and artificially comparing and ranking films that have more differences than commonalities.
© Anton Bitel
Ha ha, I’m guilty of a few of these. 😛